When we give our youngsters a free ride, we are teaching them to live in a world that does not exist. Envision this: you go to a job interview and the boss tells you that you are hired to begin on this Monday. Then you inform him that you want your work space over here, your work desk over here, and oh yeah, you will just begin work at 10am, not 9am. Then you inform him that you prefer your paycheck in advance and you will do the job later on. Can you imagine this? Exactly how long will you have that job for? You already know the response. We understand the answer! You would not!
Consider nature: When a baby bunny doesn't pay attention to his/her mamma, he just gets eaten up; the mamma birdie kicks her baby birds out of the nest, ready or not; if you aid a butterfly out of the cocoon, the butterfly is maimed for life, never ever able to fly on its own. Do the moms and dads of today also understand that by never ever allowing their kid to fail, they are destroying their opportunity for success in life? I bet not. Also, if they realize this reality, are they willing to do anything concerning it?
I understand for a fact that parents out there are wishing for an answer on the best ways to cope with their kids! Although this is a 100% correct truth, people have actually given up and accepted incorrigible actions from their youngsters as a normal situation. It is not! I have actually seen kids who have actually been diagnosed with behavior disorders entirely turn around with a different, brand new, positive process to parenting! When I say positive parenting, I mean parenting with a mindset of yes, rather than no.
I understand this is difficult to realize in the beginning. Exactly how can it be possible to constantly answer yes to a kid or teen? To start with, you could ask your youngster if they would rather have personal responsibility for their own life or if they wish you to have complete responsibility over their life; they will certainly pick themselves every time. So, produce an atmosphere that enables them to set goals, create plans, and persist to success by instructing them to earn their privileges. What is a real privilege? Everything beyond food, shelter and clothing.
Make a list of everything that your kid or young teen requests beyond those three basic things, for instance, TV, computer online time, desert, films, video games, designer clothes, butter on the veggies etc, etc, etc.... These things are your youngster's motivation to action. Everyone to achieve everything needs to in the beginning discover to ask for it or to desire it; that is called a target. Once you have actually asked for it or you have set a goal, the next necessary step is to develop a plan, and the final action step is to persevere on through the challenges till the objective has actually been accomplished.
"Mother, can I have a car?" "Yes, I would love for you to have a car. That's called a goal. Exactly how much does a car cost?" That is the first step to developing a plan. Instruct your kid that whatever goal they decide on, they have the potential to be, do or have everything they desire to work for. Now, will your daughter have a fancy automobile today? No. Will she have a fancy SUV if she establishes a goal, makes a strategy, and then saves her cash until she has enough to purchase an SUV? Definitely!!! Now we are educating our kids to actually live in a reality which does exist.